On Being Heard

A question was recently posed to me: "what happens within you when someone deeply listens as your share part of your life's sacred story?"  Wow, that really gets to the heart of what spiritual direction is -- someone holding sacred space with you and truly listening -- hearing you-- as you share your life's sacred story.  How does that feel?

• It feels scary.  Someone is actually listening to me.  Hearing what I say.  They aren't asking how I am and walking away before I answer.  They aren't asking "just to be polite."  When a spiritual director - or anyone - really listens to my story, it is scary.  In the act of listening, of truly hearing, my story is being heard perhaps for the first time - and it's my story - a part of who I am as an individual and as a creation of God.  It may be a story I have never shared before, or one I just experienced and need to process.  You have your own story which is just yours, waiting to be heard.  Whether your story is simple or complex, the sharing of it is personal.  It is a moment of vulnerability - before the person listening as well as before God.  A moment of trust.  A moment of truth.  And for most of us, that is scary. 
• It feels intimate.  The mere sharing of my life story(ies) creates sacred space - a thin place where walls are knocked down, where the Spirit is thick, where my story weaves together with God's greater story of creation.  It is holy.  Tender.  Full of care.  It's a feeling of being treasured.
• When someone listen's to my life's sacred story, I feel honored.  I feel as though my story matters and how I experience life and the Holy matters.  I feel honored and respected as a human, as a child of God, and as me. 
• And when my story is heard, I am exhausted.  Because when someone hears my story and is truly listening to it, they will ask me the questions that draw me deeper.  They won't share their own stories as a way to compare, but they will keep me focused on my own story and draw me deeper into my experience to help me remember it, process it, keep it real.  That kind of "being heard" takes work.  And often times, it results in emotion... and we all know that emotion can be exhausting.  
• But most of all, having my story heard is transformative.  When I am deeply listened to, I am taken to new depths and new heights.  I have heightened awareness of myself and of God.  I become grounded, rooted in the earth of God's creation.  I can feel the Spirit moving within and around me. There is no doubt in my mind that these moments are holy. And through this transformative experience, another feeling swells.... that of....
• Love.  Loved for who and what I am.  Loved by God and loved by other.  Loved and accepted on a spiritual level - holy and whole.  My weaknesses, brokenness, gifts, and strengths have little relevance because as a whole, I am loved for everything I bring to the table.  

Have you ever shared your story with someone who will listen?  Have you found yourself deeply heard?  How did it feel for you?  Or is this something you crave?  Spiritual Direction is the ministry of such listening.  It is a ministry of honoring one's story, of savoring it, and of finding God in the midst of it.  Know that your story deserves to be heard and to honored for the place it has in God's greater story.  If you would like help in locating a Spiritual Director, contact me and I will be happy to assist.