Clergy Care

It's really of no surprise to me that so many of my clergy colleagues have shown an interest in the ministry of spiritual direction - not to be directors, but rather to receive direction.  As I think about who should be in spiritual direction, clergy and lay leaders are at the top of my list.

Clergy and lay leaders need to be continually looking for and recognizing God at work in the world and in their lives.  They need someone to regularly help them live into their call as a child of God and a Christian leader - someone who isn't asking them to report on their numerical success in church ministry.  Church leaders need a safe place to have holy conversations without the fear of how said conversations might impact or be reflected in an annual review.  They need a place where it is OK to come down off the pedestal, to be real, to be vulnerable with what they are feeling and experiencing.  There needs to be a set-aside place to allow the struggles, joys, and questions of faith to surface and be handled with loving care. A place where a leader's heart always departs having been touched by the Spirit and the conversation.

All of us need spiritual direction to some extent, but it is my opinion that those leading the church - those who are often looked at as super-spiritual and beyond needing spiritual guidance - are the ones needing it most.  Leading the church is a lonely business, yet God repeatedly calls us to be in community - not one of competition, but one of support and wholeness.  We need not travel this life of ministry alone for there are people to companion with us as we go.  Friends... colleagues... let us take the time to tend to our souls.  Let us risk our egos and have the vulnerability needed to engage with God on a deeper, more honest level.  I promise you, the Spirit will lead the way.  

The 5 Ws of Spiritual Direction: WHERE and WHEN

This is the last in my 3-part series looking at the basics of the ministry of spiritual direction.  In two previous posts, I answered WHAT spiritual direction is as well as WHO should receive direction and WHY one might be led to explore direction.  As we continue to explore the basics of spiritual direction, an important question that often comes up is WHERE do I go for direction?  

As I have mentioned before, spiritual direction in and of itself is not necessarily a Christian ministry.  The first thing to consider in finding a director is if Christian direction is important to you.  Assuming it is, different faith traditions may have people set apart for this ministry, so one way to find someone is through your own church or denominational office.  The Catholic church has a strong tradition and practice of spiritual direction and it has been my experience they are open to meeting with people no matter what faith tradition they come from.  Other faith traditions/denominations may have offices of spiritual formation that may offer direction, or at the very least, help point you towards someone.  If those options don't pan out or you are simply wanting to see and know all the options, another resource is Spiritual Directors International, a website with a very helpful director locator tool that will point you to directors within your region.  While I am a big believer in meeting in person, in the quiet of an office or other set-apart space, some directors are open to meeting via Skype or telephone for those who are not within an easy distance to meet.  My personal preference is to meet in person -- there is an energy, an intimacy, and a meeting of the Spirit that is difficult (though not impossible) to be experienced outside of the person-to-person community that is formed when in a shared space.  

Once you have a basic understanding of the what, who and why of spiritual direction and you have sought ought where to go for it, you may be wondering WHEN is a good time to start this journey of growing closer and deeper in relationship with God.  My first answer is NOW -- TODAY!  But if you are looking for a more concrete answer, I give you this:  whether your soul feels full or is running on empty, God desires to be more connected with you.  Whether you are celebrating the joys in life or hanging your head feeling like you are fighting a losing battle, God longs for you to know God's presence with you.  Whether you are a long-time person of faith or feeling like you are just starting to get your feet under you on this journey, God seeks you out, calls you by name, and reaches a hand out for you to hold.  There is no wrong time to start direction -- don't wait until you have your life in order or feel like you are in a good place, or conversely, don't wait until it is all falling apart.  Just begin where you are -- a step at a time. In doing so, be amazed at how you will find God.  Be encouraged by how God is traveling with you on this journey.  And be ever assured of God's faithfulness in all of our living and loving of life.  Spiritual Direction simply helps us to see God at work.  To know God is near.  To affirm and confirm the hope we have in Christ.  

Spiritual direction may not appeal to all people, but it is accessible to all who want it.  If you find yourself connecting with what this ministry has to offer, I encourage you to seek out a spiritual director and begin this new journey in faith.  I promise you, God WILL show up and meet you there.  

The 5 Ws of Spiritual Direction: WHO and WHY

For whatever reason, spiritual direction seems to be a ministry that confuses people.  It is not widely experienced in the Protestant tradition and perhaps that is why it leaves us without a solid understanding of what spiritual direction encompasses.  This is the second in a 3-part series on the five Ws of direction -- the what, where, when, and today, the WHO and WHY.

In my last post, I mentioned that spiritual direction presupposes faith.  A person coming to direction is generally someone who is already walking with God and living in the grace of Jesus Christ.  People who come to direction are people who are longing to be more aware or more in sync with God's activity in their lives and the world around them.  They come seeking to align their heart more fully with God's as they grow deeper in love and faith to God.  Can people come who are not Christian?  That is up to the director -- for myself, what I offer is Christian spiritual direction; a focus on the Holy as experienced through God and embodied in Jesus Christ.  For the person seeking a  first time relationship or understanding of God, direction could indeed be a means of grace by which a relationship with Christ is built however, it is not the norm or among the primary goals of spiritual direction.

As I mentioned in the WHAT of spiritual direction, this is not a time for counseling or confession.  That said, people often come looking for a sense of peace or understanding, a place to come and sort through our struggles (and our joys) in a way that helps us find God in the midst of them.  People come with a desire to understand where God was or how God acted in a time of loss or trauma. They may want to remember, linger and savor a special God-moment.  They may be in a time of seeking discernment on an important decision in life.  The WHY of spiritual direction is widely varied -- just as varied as each one of our own faith experiences.  The only WHY that is truly important is the one that starts you on the path of direction, for it is what starts you on the journey of  growing deeper with God and yourself.  

Next up:  the final part of the series - the WHERE and WHEN of spiritual direction. 

The 5 Ws of Spiritual Direction: WHAT

I encounter people daily who ask me about my journey in spiritual direction which often results in conversations that lead to a better basic understanding of this ministry.  Over the next few posts, I will lay out the 5 Ws of spiritual direction -- the who, what, where, when and why that makes it happen.  Today, I bring you the WHAT.

Maybe we start with the what spiritual direction is NOT.  It is not a counseling session.  It is not confession.  It is not a place to come and have someone tell you how to behave or what to do.  It is not a time to have someone make your decisions for you. It is not a place to learn the basics about Christianity -- it presupposes a life of faith.

Spiritual direction IS a ministry of being aware of God's presence and activity in life.  A spiritual director is a person who companions with -- journeys alongside another -- as they look at life events and seek to better understand and be aware of God's working in it.  Direction is an intentional conversation where the Holy Spirit is welcomed in and we trust we will somehow be different after we leave -- different because we have experienced the Holy Spirit and seen God's heart for us more clearly.

Spiritual direction can take many forms, but typically has some commonalities: sessions are typically an hour and scheduled monthly; they begin and/or end with prayer, and continue to draw us to the Holy rather than the worldly.  As an example, a session can start  in prayer as the Holy Spirit is invited to be present in the conversation.  The conversation is Spirit-led based on an event, memory, challenge, or thought that is on one's mind.  During the session the directee is affirmed, invited to linger with God in the moment, and allowed the space and time to become more aware and bear witness to God's working in life.  Sometimes it feels warm and fuzzy, other times it is more difficult because when God really works on us from within, we can be surprised at what we find.  Personally, I never know how I will leave a session, but I always leave different from how I went in.  I leave more peaceful and calm.  I leave with my soul having been tended to with deep care.  I leave filled with hope for what's ahead.

Spiritual direction isn't about finding all the answers, but it IS about having a safe place to ask the questions.  It isn't about getting to a final destination, but it IS about having someone with whom to travel.  It isn't about finding an easy way out of our dark places, but it IS about being with someone who knows the dark and can hold the flashlight while you explore those places.  Spiritual direction is a grace.  It is a gift to all who take advantage of it.

WHO should be in spiritual direction and WHY?  Stay tuned for the next post in the series.

Growing Deeper with Discernment

"Discernment" is one of those church words thrown around when we are praying for God to help us see the RIGHT answer, make the RIGHT choice, or when we are wanting clarity on what is WRONG in our life.  This type of discernment is what our pop culture and our "easy answer" society looks towards.  We want right and wrong answers and we want to feel assured in knowing they are right or wrong by God on High.

I have a different understanding of discernment - one that requires me to already be in a growing and faithful relationship with God.  One that challenges me to trust more and grow deeper with God as I explore who I am to God and what God desires of me.  True discernment is an aligning of my heart with the heart of God -- putting myself aside (my wants, fears, dreams) and trusting in the faithful God I know to guide me.  It isn't about throwing my life before God and saying, "lead me wherever," but rather it's about how I come to God with options -- choices -- and trust God to help me discern between the options.  There is never one RIGHT answer and never a completely WRONG answer.  I believe and trust that God works through whatever choice I make -- because God loves me and wants the absolute best for me.  The discernment process is simply a process that has me being intentional about seeking out the alignment of my heart and will with God's.

Discernment is not for the faint of heart and requires a dedication of time and space within one's interior for it to take place.  There are many Christian tools for discernment available:  Ignatian Discernment, Wesleyan Quadrilateral, Quaker Clearness Committee, and meeting with a spiritual director.  Discernment, while not easy, has an amazing gift at the other side - a deeper connection with God and a faith that is even more rooted than before, resulting in a freedom that only comes from relying on God's grace.  Looking into your prayer heart today, what is it you are trying to discern and how do you meet God in that place?